Wednesday, 29 July 2009
Sunday, 28 June 2009
*cue song by Lazytown*
Or so I had thought.
Except this birthday cake took six hours. SIX FREAKING HOURS.
Thank goodness the sister helped or else I'm pretty sure it would have taken me nine hours or something if I had done it completely on my own. But it was overall a successful endeavor (for the most part) and that's all I really care about.
And now, photos of the creative endeavor undertaken!
Photo 1: As you can see, the baseball didn't quite come out round as I had intended it to. :(
Photo 2: But with trimming, it started to shape up. You don't really want to know how much we shaved off of it. Let's just say it made a mini-mountain on a plate.
Photo 3: The base where the baseball was going to sit. Made of delish chocolate! Baseball made of caramel streusel. Yummm :9
Photos 4 & 5: Those would be the cupcakes that were going to be my backup plan in case all else failed. They're going to be brought into work for the coworkers to share.
Annnd, Photo 6: The "masterpiece". It's a little crappy - the fondant isn't as solid as I'd like it, or as smooth. But I did my best and that's what matters to me.
At least now I have some more baking experience under my belt! Not bad for making a cake out of a shape I'd never thought possible before (a sphere) and working with fondant for the first time. Hopefully my next BIG creative endeavor (a jungle cake for Mina, if all goes according to plan :D) will come off better.
The cake (and the cupcakes!) ended up being a pretty big hit with everyone, so I'm pretty damn happy and proud of myself.
Happy (belated) birthday, Babay. :) I hope your birthday turned to be everything you wanted it to be and more because you absolutely deserve it.
Thursday, 18 June 2009
It's been two months since I have last graced the pages of Xanga. A part of me feels like I'm growing up and out of this blog, but a part of me also feels like I can't quite leave it yet. Not when I have so many memories that have been recorded here. I don't know what to think of myself, having formed this sentimental attachment to a page on the Internet. But there you have it
I feel like everyone around me is changing. Or maybe it's me who is changing and everyone else that is staying the same and I'm finally seeing what I never saw before about them. Things that never used to bother me about certain people now seem more aggravating than ever. And things that used to aggravate me are now just washing away like water off a duck's back. I don't really know what to think of anything.
I mean, I always used to believe that there is something inherently good in everyone. Now, I'm not sure what to believe anymore. There are people in my life who are surprising me with just how rude, thoughtless and tactless they are. I'm dumbstruck just about everyday by the actions of some. I don't know where our society's heading, but if these people are any indication, then I don't want to be on that ship when it pulls into port. Fuck that. I deserve better in and from my life
Maybe I'm just getting bitter in my old age (I'm turning twenty in two months, omg), but I don't know. We're adults now. Get out of high school and grow up. Leave the drama behind. I'm tired of always being the adult in the situation because I'm the only one capable of it. Wake up and smell the damn coffee. We're adults now; start acting like one. Because some of you won't survive reality if you continue this way.
Thursday, 30 April 2009
Though this was a bigger pain in the ass then it really should have been, I finally managed to conquer the usage of Xanga Themes and have adapted to the new world. I've been wanting a new layout for awhile and I just couldn't be assed to make one. So here we go. I got lazy, found a fairly cute pre-made one and voila. I'm special.
I don't know how long I'll keep these images up. To be honest, I wanted something a little brighter, maybe, what with summer coming up and all. Expect me to tweak it with my images and stuff sometime within the next month if I don't get lazy. I'm too lazy to make my own, but I will edit the shit out of a pre-made one that has a layout that I like.
Okay, I need to use the potty and then go to class.
Ah, the life of a college student. Sleep, eat, potty, class (sometimes), more sleep, more food, pottypottypotty, homework, panic, sleep. Sounds about right.
Edit: This one is way prettier! :) Although I may continue to swap between themes for a couple of days. So don't be surprised if you visit and it's different again.
Monday, 30 March 2009
Just a quick update before I go grab my reading that I need to get done by tomorrow's class. Spring Break is over and I'm a little sad. But I'm also totally pumped to get back to class and start succeeding. I got back one of my midterms the other night and the results aren't as bad as I thought they'd be. I feel like I'm totally in the right mindset to go back and take on the entire UC system and win. I know. Such a turn-around from my last post, right? I wish I could say that my academic worries are completely gone, but they're not. It's just that instead of clamoring at the very front of my mind, it's now sitting dormant in the back. Waiting. Which is creepy as all hell, but that's the only way I can think to describe it.
Life is the usual rollercoaster ride, of course. Spring Break had its ups and downs, but at least I hit the low note fairly early in the week so I ended my break on a fairly high one. I didn't get to see everyone I wanted to (namely Mina, Anni and PEESKILLET) but I know that I'll be able to see them soon once school lets out for the summer (Mina) or once we manage to get our schedules sorted out enough for them to coincide (Anni and PEESKILLET).
This week has given me a whole new appreciation for letting go completely and just living in the moment. Thursday night, when a bunch of us went out into San Francisco, I felt more relaxed than I have felt in a very long time. For those seven hours, I really felt like I had no worries at all. I was't thinking about my academics, or my finances, or anything that had been stressing me lately. It was just me, and what I was doing, and who I was with. Right then, right there. I honestly don't think I have ever felt so free before. I don't remember the last time I had laughed so hard for so long. And so often. San Francisco literally rang with the laughter from our group that night.
I've bee told I just really need to kick back and relax more, instead of letting my work and my school run my life and dictate my schedule. Save back some "me time" so I'm not so stressed. It's more a matter of actually setting aside that time for myself than remembering to do so. Because I remember to set aside time for myself, all the time. I just don't always do it, which obviously doesn't help me in the least. But I'm getting better about it, slowly. I've got some amazing people in my life who are constant reminders that, you know, it is okay to sit back and chill for a bit. And I'm thankful for them, more than I think they know. They keep me sane.
Anyway. I think I'll just wrap it up now and get started on that article I need to be reading. After this load of laundry, that is. Until next time.
Your Body Is a Wonderland
By John Mayer
Monday, 09 February 2009
It's been a month since I've posted and so much has happened. In some ways, it's been insanely repetitive. Work. School. Work. School. The occasional hang out with friends. More work. More school. I'm about ready to be driven insane by how inane it all is. I haven't really even done anything that I've seriously enjoyed in a long time (not counting hanging out with friends). When was the last time I touched my scrapbook supplies? Or my sewing things? Or Photoshop? Or wrote something for fun, or roleplayed? God. It's as if all my hobbies have fallen off the face of the earth. When did I get so boring?
There are days when I just feel like saying, "Fuck it all to hell." After all, what's the use? I'm so tired and stressed out by everything this semester. My grades have to be stellar. My bank account has to stretch far enough between paychecks and the sporadic babysitting jobs. I have to keep everyone around me happy and optimistic about their own situations. I can't let anyone see how freaked out I am about my own life. People have their own worries; why add mine to the mix?
Ughh. I don't even like admitting it on here, but I feel like I need an outlet somewhere to get it out. Elsewise, I'll explode at someone and I really don't want to take this out on someone else. No one deserves to have me unload on them just because I'm stressing out. But ugh. I'm so tired and stressed out and I'm about ready to just give up on everything. I can't even seem to regain all of my old ambitions and dreams. Even the desire to help others when I get older and become a social worker is starting to fade, which scares the hell out of me.
If I lose that drive to help others, what do I have left to motivate and push me? Nothing.
I don't know anymore. I haven't felt so lost and scared in such a long time.
Monday, 05 January 2009
First post of the new year, hooray! It is the fifth day of 2009, and already changes have been going into effect. I realized, going out to dinner with a few of my GWYO girls on Saturday night, that so much has changed and yet so much has remained the same. Looks and personality-wise, we were all still the same people that we were two years ago. But our experiences had changed us, and we realized that as we caught each other up on everything that had been happening to us since our GWYO days together.
At the same time, I was really glad that all of us were still comfortable enough with each other to open up and share things about ourselves that we had never really talked about before. It was moments like those that showed me just how far we had come in those two years. But I'm glad to know that I'll always have their love and support, just like they'll always have mine. Through boys, and jobs, and drama, and happy times and all of that. I love you girls, and we totally need to get together again sometime soon. <3 I miss hanging out with all of you.
In other news, life hasn't really changed much. Sure, it's gotten a bit more dramatic, due to current events and the people in it. But I suppose it really isn't all too different. It just seems so high school sometimes, though. I graduated from there for a reason, but oftentimes I feel like I'm right back at Arroyo again because of the drama that keeps sprouting up in my life. All of that was supposed to have been left behind two years ago, not stirred up again with every new thing that happens. I wonder sometimes if I should have just removed myself from the situation entirely when I still had the chance to.
Maybe that's just a little bit of bitterness speaking, and maybe I'm just jumping to conclusions that it will always be that way. But it is always that way now, and I'm getting tired of it. Especially since it doesn't really look like anything is changing anytime soon. So who knows. I guess I'll just let life run its course and see where it takes me.
Or maybe I just really need a vacation from everything. Someone, please, take me away?
Thursday, 25 December 2008
Knowing me and knowing how crazy it always gets for me right before the new year, I figured I'd play it safe and do this now as Christmas day is slowly winding down. There are a few gifts that I actually still need to make, but I figured I would take a little break and reflect back on all the changes that came about this year. There have been so many new people in my life this year and they have brought about so many new changes in my life that, at times, I am sometimes both grateful and upset for. But life is life. And honestly? I wouldn't change mine for everything in the world.
"Year in Review" Survey for 2008
What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Fail an entire semester. Balance two jobs along with college. Drive places just for the sake of driving there. Tell my parents about my personal life. Leave.
Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any this year to keep. So I guess that means I kept them all.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Um. No one I can think of off the top of my head.
Did anyone close to you die?
He wasn't very close to me, but he will be missed all the same. Miss you, Stark.
What countries did you visit?
The countries within my head.
What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
More freedom. Always more freedom to do what I want and to make the mistakes I need to make.
What date(s) from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
You know.. a lot of dates will always remain etched in my memory. But I'd really rather not name them this year.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Learning to speak up for myself and for having the guts to do what I think is the right thing to do right now.
What was your biggest failure?
Not being what people expected of me. But I guess it's not really a failure.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
What was the best thing you bought?
All the coffee I've bought over the course of the last six months. PS3. Random little things for people to make them smile.
Whose behavior merited celebration?
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
More appalled than depressed. But no names. Never names.
Where did most of your money go?
To my friends. Or food.
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Work. Going out.
What song will always remind you of 2008?
Taylor Swift's "Teardrops on My Guitar" and Jason Mraz's "Lucky".
Compared to this time last year, are you:
Yes. I've had to grow up a lot this year.
Yes, though my current headache totally says otherwise.
I'm working more. So yes.
What do you wish you'd done more of?
Kept my mouth shut.
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Having to deal with drama. But I think I'm done with it.
Did you fall in love in 2008?
No, I didn't.
How many one-night stands?
Davis has left me, alas. So none.
What was your favorite TV program?
JON AND KATE PLUS EI8HT.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don't hate. I just dislike.
What was the best book you read?
I don't think I read any amazing new books this year. That.. really depresses me.
What was your greatest musical discovery?
I don't think I discovered any new music.
What did you want and get?
What did you want and not get?
What was your favorite film of this year?
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I celebrated a few nights early. Haha. I turned 9teen. I worked on my actual birthday.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
What kept you sane?
Driving everywhere, surprisingly.
Who did you miss?
The people I used to be close to.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
You can't rely completely on anyone but yourself.
Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"You twist to fit the mold that I am in."
2008: Your Love Life
Single/Taken? Flyin' solo.
How many relationships did you have? Just one.
How many break ups? One.
2008: Friends and Enemies
Did you meet any new friends this year? The entire Golfland crew. :) Love you guys.
Did any of your friendships end? In a sense.
Did you dislike anyone? Yes.
Did you get into any fights? Yes.
Did you make any new enemies? Not enemies, no.
Did you resolve any fights? Yes.
Who was your closest friend? This year? In no particular order: Mina. Jenn. James. Anni. Brian. Priscilla. Gwen.
2008: The Holidays
Did you have a Valentine? Yes. :)
Did the Easter Bunny visit you? We don't celebrate Easter.
Did watch fireworks on the 4th of July? No, but only because I wasn't quite capable of sitting up. Haha.
Did you dress up for Halloween? No. :( I wanted to. Just.. didn't.
What did you do for Thanksgiving? Stayed up all the night before, talking. Then sat at home all day waiting for food.
Did you make a list of gifts for the holidays? Not for myself. Never for myself.
Did you receive what you wanted? Yes. <3
Were you good this holiday season? As good as I can be.
2008: Your Birthday
How old did you turn? 9teen.
Did you have a cake? No, actually. I don't think I did.
What did you do for your birthday? Had some fun at Zach's. :) Haha.
Did you have a party? Kind of.
Did you get any presents? A few, yes. <3 Thanks everyone!
2008: The Memories and Accomplishments
Funniest Memory? Oh, Zach. "STFU!"
Saddest Memory? I'm sorry.
Best Accomplishments? Learning to take care of myself.
2008: All About You
Did you change at all this year? A little, and yet a lot.
Was 2008 a good year? Yes.
Did 2008 bring any new insights? It brought many.
Do you think 2009 will top 2008? I guarantee it.
Do you have any goals for 2009? Above all, be happy.
Do you wish 2008 wouldn't end? In some ways, yes. In some ways, no.
Do you plan to do anything special for NYE 2008? Babysitting the twins in the morning (this seems to be becoming a trend) and then possibly headed into the city? Not sure.
Will you be kissing anyone at midnight? Anything is possible, but I doubt it.
So much has changed, and yet so much has stayed the same. I can only hope that 2009 will be just as interesting, just as lively, a little less heartbreaking and a little less filled with drama. That's all I can really ask for.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
Thursday, 18 December 2008
It's roughly 7:10am and I am awake. I don't have class or anything. I'm just awake. I'm dead tired, but know that falling back asleep really isn't an option. I have presents I'd like to finish before the staff party tonight, so I got up for a reason. But I look at all of my supplies scattered across my room and feel no real motivation to start. I think it's the cold -- it makes me slow to start my days.
I have no real reason to blog. There's nothing going on of huge importance. I just felt like my Xanga was being neglected, poor thing. But really. There's not much to say. Work's been what it always has been, though hours are getting a little cut due to the season. Which is whatever, because it's Christmas break and I'm being asked to babysit more often, so it kind of balances it out.
These are just some early morning thoughts running through my head as I contemplate putting my robe on because it's getting colder now that I am no longer wrapped up in my blanket-burrito. I wish I had something deep to say, but I really don't. Not until next time anyway, when I do my usual year's end post. I always try to wait until closer to New Year's Eve before I make it. You never know what can happen before year's end.
Anyway. I guess I should actually start my presents if I want to get anything done today. Until next time.